Disebuah stesen keretapi...seorang makcik telah pergi ke kaunter tiket utk bertanya kpd staff....
MAKCIK : anak..keretapi smpai kul brapa?
STAFF : makcik....kalo ke kl smpai kul 1...ke gemas kul 3...ke ipoh kul 4....makcik nk pergi mana?
MAKCIK : makcik nk melintas je...
TAMAT����
A very touching story:
A small boy named George lived in a village in Queensland. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy George!!!!!"
One day George's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform.......
Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful...... When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!
The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend George, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Hoover!!!!!
Don't tell me you thought that George became a doctor????
Hahahahahampeh..
Bismillahirohmanirrohim...
-kaum wanita adalah kaum yang Allah telah mengangkat derjatnya.Jadi kita sbg wanita jgn hinakan derejat yang Allah dah angkat dengan menjaga aurat.
-sebaik baik lelaki adalah yang menjaga dan melindungi wanita serta berlemah lembut terhadapnya.
-Jadilah wanita yg melakukan sesuatu hanya krn Allah dan Rasul.Jangan lakukan seauatu kerana suami atau mertua atau sbgnya.
-wanita yg kuat adalah wanita yg bersedia memikul beban yg berat dgn menyerahkan semuanya kpd Allah.
-Cara wanita membantu meringankan beban suami mencari rezeki bukanlah dengan bekerja dengan org tetapi sebaliknya berkerja dengan Allah dengan cara memperbanyakkan solat dhuha dan membaca surah al waqiah selepas asar krn dengan mengamalkan kedua dua amalan ini,Allah akan memberi rezeki dari mana mana jalan yang Dia kehendaki.
-Keempat empat wanita yang berjaya yakni Saidatina Fatimah,Saidatina Khadijah,saidatina Maryam & Saidatina Asiah menjadi penghulu syurga bukan asbab mereka bekerja tetapi asbab mereka berkerja dengan Allah iaitu beribadah.
-Sebaik baik wanita adalah wanita yang berdiam diri dirumahnya.
#Nota Majlis Ustazah Aliya Al Musawwa#
Why Malaysian Government insists on using English for math and science?
This is because the whole world uses the language as an information and/or technology language. How dangerous it will be if we try to use Bahasa , especially in school. See example below:-
Hardware = barangkeras
Software = baranglembut
Joystick = batang gembira
Plug and Play = cucuk dan main
Port = lubang
Server = pelayan
Client = pelanggan
Try to translate this:
ENGLISH:
That server gives a plug and play service to the client using either hardware or software joystick. The joystick goes into the port of the client.
Now in BAHASA:
Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut. Batang gembira itu akan dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan.
Now you know...WHY...
Ada sepasang suami isteri tua baru tiba di jeti Kuala Perlis dari Langkawi. Setelah menahan sebuah/ teksi mereka duduk di tempat duduk penumpang belakang. Tiba2 selepas 10 minit si Isteri bertanya kepada pemandu teksi.
Makcik : Dik .. O .. Dik, kamu nak makan kacang?
Pemandu Teksi : Boleh juga Makcik. Sambil dia menghulur tangan ke arah nenek tu tanpa menoleh ke belakang. Setelah melihat tapak tangannya penuh dgn pelbagai jenis kacang, lalu terus memasukkan ke dalam mulut.
Pemandu teksi: oii, sedap kacang makcik ni. Fresh ... tak bergaram...Sepuluh minit kemudian makcik tu bertanya lagi.
Makcik: Dik, kamu nak lagi?
Pemandu teksi: Buleh juga.. Sambil menghulurkan tangan menadah..lalu dimasukkan ke dalam mulut.
Pemandu teksi: Makcik dengan Pakcik tak makan kacang ke?
Makcik: ... Kau tau lah ... Kami ni tak dak gigi ... beli coklat kat Langkawi tadi ... ada kacang kami kulum makan coklatnya saja...kacangnya masih elok !
Pemandu teksi : n JAHANAM.......
A man called Maha owns a farm which can produce 10 apples every day.
He has 5 workers to operate the farm. Each of them eats 1 apple daily and it is enough to keep them operating the farm normally. The remaining 4 apples, the landlord sells them at RM10 each and he earns RM40.
He uses the RM25 to improve the farm operation and facilities.
He gives RM2.00 to each of his workers and he keeps the remaining RM5.00 as profit.
Day by day, the farm is well developed and all of the 5 workers are happy with the money they can save.
When Maha passed away and there is a new landlord, Abdul comes to continue the farm operation. He says to the workers: "We need to improve the farm quality and redefine our way of thinking.From now on all of you only need to pay RM1.00 for each apple you eat. It is very cheap as the price is RM10 each outside the farm."
The workers have no choice but to pay RM1.00 for the apple they eat daily. Their earning decrease from RM2.00 to RM1.00 per person.
As usual, Abdul sells the 4 apples and he gets RM40. He uses RM25 for farm improvement and pays RM10 to his 5 workers. He gets RM5.00 as profit. On top of that, he gets another RM5.00 from the apples that he sells to his workers. In total, he gets RM10 as profit every day.
Soon, the apple price increases to RM20 each.
The new landlord gets a higher profit as he gets RM80 for the 4 apples he sells daily. Then, he decides to give the farming improvement contract to one of his close friend, Samy.
Samy says: "Apple cost naik, improvement cost also misti naik." So, the farm improvement cost increases from RM25 to RM50.
In actual fact, the improvement only cost RM30. The remaining RM20, Abdul and Samy share evenly among themselves.
Let's calculate how much Abdul gets daily:
RM10 (from farm improvement cost)
RM20 (Net profit by selling 4 apples: [Gross profit, RM80] - [Improvement cost, RM50] - [Wages RM10] = RM20)
RM5 (from selling apples to his workers)
In total, Abdul gets RM35 daily compare to RM10 initially when he takes over the farm from Maha.
His profit increases RM25 and the workers are still getting RM1.00 daily per person.
The greedy Abdul does not want to stop there.
One day, he says to his fellow workers:" You see ah, the current market price for one apple is RM20 and you are only paying RM1. See how lucky you are! I have to SUBSIDY RM19.00 for each of the apples you buy and total I need to SUBSIDY RM95.00. This will greatly burden the farm and we might get bankrupt if we continue like this. In order to avoid bankruptcy, I need to increase the apple price that you buy from RM1.00 to RM1.50 and I will bear the remaining RM18.50 per apple as my subsidy to you all. "
So, greedy Abdul adds RM2.50 to his current profit and the number becomes RM37.50.
After you have read the story, I am sure you have already understood the meaning of "SUBSIDY" given by the govt.
The RM95 subsidy never existed in the first place and so was the RM52 billion fuel subsidy generously "given" by the govt.
Cutting fuel subsidy is actually just a reason to steal money from your pocket.
Cerita 1
Suami : Kenapa Sayang menangis?
Isteri : Saya telah baca sebuah buku. Sad endinglah bang..
Suami : Buku apa?
Isteri : Buku bank abanglah..
Cerita 2
Aderla sorang lelaki datang ke sebuah rumah untuk meminta derma. Derma untuk rumah orang-orang tua. seorang budak pun membuka pintu.
budak : derma ape bang?
lelaki : derma untuk rumah orang-orang tua. adik ada apa-apa untuk didermakan?
budak : nanti jap.saya ambilkan atuk saya.
lelaki : ?????
Cerita 3
3 org menaiki motor dan ditahan polis trafik. Namun pemandu motor tersebut tidak berhenti.
Katanya, ‘Tak Muat Dah Tok, Kami dah bertiga!!!
Cerita 4
Sebaik sahaja mengambil tempat duduk di ruang menunggu sebuah klinik,
Shan terpandang Amin sedang menangis teresak-esak. Dia segera mendekati
Amin. : Shan Kenapa menangis?
Amin : Saya datang untuk ujian darah.
Shan : Awak takut ke?
Amin : Bukan itu sebabnya. Semasa ujian darah dijalankan, mereka telah terpotong jari saya.
Mendengarkan penjelasan
Amin, Shan menangis.
Amin : Eh, kenapa pula awak menangis?
Shan : Saya datang untuk ujian air kencing..
Cerita 5
Seorang atok membawa cucunya ke pejabat pos untuk menghantar surat.
Cucunya bertanya bila melihat atoknya memasukkan surat ke dalam tong berwarna merah.
“Atok buat apa tu?”.
“Atok bagi surat kat kawan atok,cu!” jawap atoknya.
Cucunya bertanya lagi, “Apa bangang sangat kawan atok
duduk dalam tong merah tu?”
Cerita 6
Seorang posmen yang datang menghantar surat.
” Assalamualaikum ”
” Walaikumsalam ”
” Ni rumah encik Sameon ye?
” Ya saya”
” Poning kepala saya mencari alamat rumah encik ni ”
” Buat susah aje encik nie! Apsal tak pos aje?”
Cerita 7
Seorang pegawai polis masuk ke bilik mayat sebuah hospital untuk menyiasat punca kematian tiga lelaki sekaligus. Selepas memeriksa mayat-mayat itu, dia bertanya kepada penjaga bilik berkenaan.
Polis : Mengapa ketiga-tiga mayat tersenyum?
Penjaga : Lelaki pertama sedang bersanding, apabila tiba2 diserang strok.
Lelaki kedua pula khabarnya menang loteri dan mati serangan sakit jantung
manakala yg ketiga disambar petir.
Polis : Hah! Kenapa disambar petir pun tersenyum?
Penjaga : Masa tu dia ingat orang sedang ambil gambarnya…
Hilangkan stress anda..
